Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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