I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
