hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
