if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize