I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Swine flu. Run for my life!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
