Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
