i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
