Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
