Who did Billy Mays play for?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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