Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Less talking, more tequila
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
