So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize