i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
