his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
