Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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