WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me