I feel like abortions should bother me more
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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