just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.