Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.

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(845): View more from New York

From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.

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(585): View more from New York

Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.

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(206): View more from Washington

Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

(1-206): View more from Washington

I feel so bad for your roommate

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(303): View more from Colorado

He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs

(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment

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(618): View more from Illinois

It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.

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