i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My ATM looks so different sober.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class