Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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  (512): My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house http://tfl.nu/7hx1
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

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  (303): .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate http://tfl.nu/8kdy
  Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (3919)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10465) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.

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  (407): I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule. http://tfl.nu/aidv
  Replies (6) Good night (2527) Bad night (698)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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  (502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75
  Replies (13) Good night (967) Bad night (4760)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

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  (432): Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat" http://tfl.nu/ofhr
  Replies (20) Good night (9350) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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  (317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1643) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.

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  (208): I think he just made me trade sex for my cat. http://tfl.nu/z4wg
  Replies (6) Good night (1745) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer

  (1-949): View more from California

  Party on wayne

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  (949): Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer (1-949): Party on wayne http://tfl.nu/qjse
  Replies (9) Good night (2746) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  She still cant shoot whiskey?

  (925): View more from California

  Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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  (925): She still cant shoot whiskey? (925): Im having serious doubts about this relationship http://tfl.nu/o90t
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts

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  (256): 2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts http://tfl.nu/zqnp
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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  (337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc
  Replies (17) Good night (2318) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

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  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (972) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1079) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.

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  (716): Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested. http://tfl.nu/7riw
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (231)

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