Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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(443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406

Replies (19) Good night (811) Bad night (3190)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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(563): I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death http://tfl.nu/f03y

Replies (6) Good night (2320) Bad night (627)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

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(803): You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo http://tfl.nu/7wt5

Replies (35) Good night (4100) Bad night (606)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day. http://tfl.nu/2twt

Replies (38) Good night (17432) Bad night (1623)
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(585): View more from New York

I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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(585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh

Replies (12) Good night (925) Bad night (6415)
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(805): View more from California

do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

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(805): do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland? http://tfl.nu/lpb9

Replies (25) Good night (3021) Bad night (5527)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"

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(931): I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard" http://tfl.nu/ugy9

Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (2443)
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(310): View more from California

You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.

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(310): You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders. http://tfl.nu/xfao

Replies (3) Good night (2005) Bad night (578)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

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(570): I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again http://tfl.nu/qatr

Replies (7) Good night (1980) Bad night (633)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.

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(641): Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings. http://tfl.nu/iq9m

Replies (4) Good night (1582) Bad night (692)
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(541): View more from Oregon

A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

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(541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme

Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (512)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.

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(931): I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds. http://tfl.nu/alhy

Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (488)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

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(908): There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great. http://tfl.nu/ao5x

Replies (3) Good night (1278) Bad night (438)
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(319): View more from Iowa

...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text

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(319): ...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text http://tfl.nu/8wuc

Replies (2) Good night (1484) Bad night (357)
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(435): View more from Utah

Thanks for fucking me in last night

(435): View more from Utah

TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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(435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm

Replies (10) Good night (1582) Bad night (348)

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