I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
