Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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