Your tits are I can't wait for
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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