Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
