If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
