It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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