Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize