That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
