wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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