Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
