So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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