If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
