I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
