my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
