I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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