Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
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