Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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