Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
