The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
