You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
