good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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