This girl is more easily done than said...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
