It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
