I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
