I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
