You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
