quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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