did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
