Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
