I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.