It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???