your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I love you. Go after that dick