just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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