So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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