I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
