Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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