Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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