if i died would you start the facebook group?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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