his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
