Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize