redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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