If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
