With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
