If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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