I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
